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Friday, September 9

Don't want no short people

If you think I've got attitude, you haven't experienced anything like what My Dear Friend Angry Jess can dish out.

Angry Jess/used with permission.
Angry Jess got on a (GRAPHIC!) tangent Tuesday about Music to Moderate By and managed to hit one of my favorite modern (1977 is modern in 1864!) songs: Short People by Randy Newman. 

I love this song.

I'm short and despise prejudice. What's not to like?

Short people got no reason
Short people got no reason
Short people got no reason
To live

They got little hands

Little eyes
They walk around
Tellin' great big lies
They got little noses
And tiny little teeth
They wear platform shoes
On their nasty little feet

Well, I don't want no short people

Don't want no short people
Don't want no short people
`Round here

Short people are just the same

As you and I
(A fool such as I)
All men are brothers
Until the day they die
(It's a wonderful world)

Short people got nobody

Short people got nobody
Short people got nobody
To love

They got little baby legs

That stand so low
You got to pick em up
Just to say hello
They got little cars
That go beep, beep, beep
They got little voices
Goin' peep, peep, peep
They got grubby little fingers
And dirty little minds
They're gonna get you every time
Well, I don't want no short people
Don't want no short people
Don't want no short people
'Round here

In case you don't get it, "short" is meant figuratively, intending to make fun of people who are short-tempered and small-minded.

A lot of people didn't get the joke and thought Newman was a bigot when the song came out in 1977. Legislation was even introduced in Maryland in 1978 to make it illegal to play Short People on the radio.

The bill did not pass.

Next up, Momma's Favorite: The Beatles, (Will You Still Love Me) When I'm 6'4".


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