When the Limbaugh breaks

I honestly don't know if I should laugh, cry . . . or become violently ill. 

Apparently ubber-conservative Rush Limbaugh has published three (three!) books for impressionable young readers about a history teacher named Rush Revere and his talking horse, Liberty, who have "Time-Travel Adventures with Exceptional Americans." 

Rush Revere and the Brave Pilgrims (2013)

Rush Revere and the First Patriots (2014)

Rush Revere and the American Revolution (2014)

MEET RUSH LIMBAUGH'S REALLY GOOD PAL, RUSH REVERE!

Okay, okay, my name's really Rusty—but my friends call me Rush. Rush Revere. Because I've always been the #1 fan of the coolest colonial dude ever, Paul Revere. Talk about a rock star—this guy wanted to protect young America so badly, he rode through those bumpy, cobblestone-y streets shouting "the British are coming!" On a horse. Top of his lungs. Wind blowing, rain streaming... 

Well, you get the picture. But what if you could get the real picture—by actually going back in time and seeing with your own eyes how our great country came to be? Meeting the people who made it all happen—people like you and me? 

Hold on to your pointy triangle hats, because you can—with me, Rush Revere, seemingly ordinary substitute history teacher, as your tour guide across time! "How?" you ask? Well, there's this portal. And a horse. My talking horse named Liberty. And—well, just trust me, I'll get us there.

Now I'm all for time-travel, but these?

I simply do not want to know what Limbaugh will make of the Civil War.

Eww.