Tickled steam-pink

www.etsy.com/shop/CedarMoon

I think everyone knows by now about My Fondness for kitschy flamingos, so imagine My Delight when worlds collided with Sir Steampunk!

Sir Steampunk (with monocle and/or mustache) is a handmade garden art sculpture. A OOAK Victorian gift for that formal garden or gardeners. A unique home & garden decor sculpture. He's a reinvented pink plastic flamingo base covered with weather resistant paints, paper/aluminum foil structure, recycled materials, gears/wires, faux-copper make up the rest of the disguise. He has no real metal on him except for some wires and recycled metal and wooden gears. Steam Punk: the future as imagined by the past (Scientific romantic fiction).

Sir Steampunk is quite proper in his optional top hat and monocle. And now with the option of a classy mustache! This unique Flamingo looks great in formal gardens and up-cycled Victorian gardens alike. Each Steam Punk flamingo made will be slightly different because they are as unique as the parts they made from.

His Facebook page is a delight, too. 

This Facebook Page is hosted by me, Ignacio Flamingo, and is the brainstorm of my agent, Kate Higgins. I agreed to do this provided I stay in disguise. The majority of the flock just wouldn’t understand. Belonging to a flock of hundreds is comforting but a bit stifling. Some of us really want to branch out. Some of us have dreams and desires that just don’t merge with the colony...so Flamingo Incognito! was born.

There's another steampunk flamingo listed, too, as well as a whole rainbow of other inspired Phoenicopteridae. If you like flamingos, make sure you check out CedarMoon Studio!

So many flamingos, so little yard... and I still have to tell you about my Zombie Flamingo!

Mwa ha ha!

American gothic

Warner Bros.

You can now officially count me as a Johnny Depp/Tim Burton fan.

Those two wild and crazy guys have collaborated on some of my all-time favorite moving pictures:

• Edward Scissorhands (1990)
• Ed Wood (1994)
• Sleepy Hollow (1999)
• Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005)
• Corpse Bride (2005)
• Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (2007)
• Alice in Wonderland (2010)

And now Dark Shadows, which is scheduled to be released on May 11:

In the year 1752, Joshua and Naomi Collins, with young son Barnabas, set sail from Liverpool, England to start a new life in America. But even an ocean was not enough to escape the mysterious curse that has plagued their family. Two decades pass and Barnabas has the world at his feet-or at least the town of Collinsport, Maine. The master of Collinwood Manor, Barnabas is rich, powerful and an inveterate playboy...until he makes the grave mistake of breaking the heart of Angelique Bouchard. A witch, in every sense of the word, Angelique dooms him to a fate worse than death: turning him into a vampire, and then burying him alive. Two centuries later, Barnabas is inadvertently freed from his tomb and emerges into the very changed world of 1972. He returns to Collinwood Manor to find that his once-grand estate has fallen into ruin. The dysfunctional remnants of the Collins family have fared little better...

Dark Shadows was an American-produced gothic soap opera that originally aired weekdays from 1966 to 1971. The original story did not mention any supernatural elements. It was unprecedented in daytime television when ghosts were introduced about six months after it began.

The series became hugely popular when vampire Barnabas Collins appeared a year into its run. Dark Shadows also featured werewolves, zombies, man-made monsters, witches, warlocks, time travel, and a parallel universe.

I. Can't. Wait.

Truth is stranger than fiction

"Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't."

Mark Twain

Please don't think negatively of me, but it's really hard not to laugh sometimes when you read things like this:

AP - Sixteen actors dressed as zombies were injured Tuesday when they fell from a platform during filming of a new movie in the "Resident Evil" series, officials said, and rescue workers at first were startled at the seemingly catastrophic scene.

"I could see the look on the first paramedic, saying 'Oh my God,"' Toronto emergency medical services Commander David Ralph said with a laugh.

None of the injuries was life-threatening, but the victims' gory zombie costumes made it difficult for crews to assess the actors' injuries.

"It did kind of catch us off guard when we walked in," Toronto Police Sgt. Andrew Gibson said.

Twelve victims (not ma chère amie Cécile) were taken to a hospital. (I hope none of the hospital's residents was evil.) One actor had a cracked rib, another broke a leg and one had a possible back injury, the film's producers said, but seven of the zombies have already returned to the set.

So much for the disclaimer at the end of Resident Evil 5:

"No zombies were harmed in the making of this movie."

Moon over Bourbon Street

It seems appropriate now that I discovered ma chère amie Cécile's Deep Dark Secret on October 1.

As you might recall, I've written of my loathing of Cécile's bed before. I've also commented on mini Cécile's resemblance to a zombie.

But now I know the truth.

As you know, I attended the American Girl Fashion Show AZ on Saturday. (As a spectator NOT as a model - sniff.)

And what should meet my wondering eyes while examining the raffle prizes but Cécile. Sound asleep in a cardboard coffin ... next to her bed!

Nothing I could say or do would rouse her, but the sun was still shining.

Which leads me to one conclusion and one conclusion only.

Ma chère amie Cécile is a vampire.

A vampire who wears a hairnet while "sleeping."

Snigger.

See, the truth is out there.

She walks everyday through the streets of New Orleans
She's innocent and young from a family of means
I have stood many times outside her window at night
To struggle with my instinct in the pale moon light
How could I be this way when I pray to God above
I must love what I destroy and destroy the thing I love
Oh you'll never see my shade or hear the sound of my feet
While there's a moon over Bourbon Street

Sting

Orange you thrilled I'm not a zombie

Two days later and I'm still sniggering.

I ask you, does she, or does she not, look like a zombie?

I didn't know ma chère amie Cécile had it in her.

Now, where can I get a red and black jacket like the other zombie?

I already have the matching boots!

This blood's for you

I now know where they get the synthetic blood for the True Blood vampires.

Vinyl mini-dolls, of course! Isn't she deliciously scary looking?

I must have her! My very own zombie doll....

By the way, do you know what vegetarian zombies crave?

GRAINS!